Let's Dig A Little Deeper

"In another time and place he would have been called prophet."

The quote above is on Sam Kinison's gravesite.  He was 38 and recently remarried when he was killed by a drunk driver.  He had finally kicked the drugs and alcohol himself.  Sam would have found immense humor in all this.

I was in college when my sister gave me a copy of Kinison's stand up.  Who knew the effect it would have on me.  It was my first exposure to shock comedy.  No topic was off limits.  Just when you thought it was done, he would "dig a little deeper" to find that next level down.  I'd find myself laughing at homosexual necrophilia.  "Even after you're dead they keep fcuking you in the ass."

I was going through some crap at the time and somehow listening to Sam made it better.  I didn't feel alone.  Someone else had experienced hurt, was able to laugh about it and make other people laugh as well.  Little did I know what was in store for me in life.  Sam's voice has always been there making me smile.  He screams right along with me.  I don't know if I ever thanked my sister for that tape - so if you are reading this, THANKS!

Now you know what helped form my cynical side and why I can take things too far.  I had a good teacher.

Here's one of Sam's songs.  I've used it a few times in my life.  It's dedicated to one of his old girlfriends.  I remember giving a copy to a girl I broke up with in college after I found she cheated on me.

You lying whore

you used me

you never loved me

I hope you slide under a gas truck

and taste your own blood

die! die! die!

I want my records back!

Sam, I miss you.

Perfume and Valium

I have been accused of not being in touch with my feelings.  You might expect this from such a beastly character.  I've come to find out it's not true.  Maybe that was the case a number of years ago but not now.  I am actually quite in touch with them.  I don't know when the change occurred.  I'm glad to know the truth of it and not believe someone else's opinion.

Turns out I'm a bit of a romantic too.  I always considered myself pragmatic in the ways of love.  And this is true at the beginning but after my heart is in it, I do turn into a sap.  It took some insight from a friend for me to realize this.  I still hate Valentines Day and I do things on my own terms.  That's just my way.

Most of you know I'm a Black Crowes fan so I thought I'd share some lyrics with you.

and how you made this cold boy smile
from the storm you took me weathered weary & tired
how you showed me the lessons of simple things
how love made this cold boy sing

Some say that love is the poor walk of life
Some say that love is the pain of being alive
Some say there's nothing on the other side
Some trade their souls for just a good time

My sentiments exactly and a tall order to fill.  It will be tough to make this cold beast smile.  Unless you have candy, that almost always works.