Black Friday 2010

No, this post is not about fighting through crowds to get some crappy bargain.

Five years ago, I was introduced to a Pink Floyd tribute band named The Machine.  Every Black Friday they do a show at the Keswick theater.  It's become a sort of tradition.

I missed seeing them earlier this year so I got tickets for this show right as they went on sale.  The seats were only a short distance from the stage.  You read correctly, I said seats.  I did buy two.  At the time, I did not have anyone particular in mind but I left the option open.

The band plays all different eras of Floyd.  I've come to appreciate much more of the music after seeing The Machine over the years.  I've never seen Floyd in any incarnation so I'm glad this band is around.

My friend Handygirl was gracious enough to attend with me.  I owed her for giving me a place to hideout when I didn't want to be in my house.  This was her chance to get away from being a single mom for a night.  We both enjoyed the show but not as much as the crazy woman at the end of our row.  She REALLY enjoyed it.  I think she had some outside assistance.  I look forward to next year's show.

Thanksgiving 2010

If you believe retailers, Thanksgiving is merely a speed bump on the way from Halloween to Christmas.  I find this sad.  This is the one day of the year to focus on the positive.  Wallow in it even.  Yes, I'm imaging myself in a bathtub sized gravy boat filled with gooey happiness.

I have plenty for which I'm thankful.  I could fill up this blog and totally bore you.  I'm not trying to be a braggart, just stating my case.  Top of my list is family and friends.  We've shared the laughs and tears, the bitching and beers.  My life would be less rich and not as interesting without them.

When I found out that Thanksgiving would just be with my parents, I decided to have them to my place.  I planned on ordering a cooked dinner from one of the many stores nearby.  Previous experience with this was very good.  But I changed my mind and decided to challenge myself with doing the cooking.  Yes, I do have fire extinguishers handy.

I got my recipes together and asked for some advice from others.  The menu was a 6 lb turkey breast, mashed potatoes, rolls and cranberry sauce.  Mom brought brussels sprouts, a salad and a pumpkin pie.  I outsourced an apple pie from a friend.  Realize that I've made it this far in life without ever making any of these items before.  Sure, I've helped in the kitchen but this time was all me.  I wonder why the cats are hiding?

Two days before Thanksgiving, I made the cranberry sauce and rolls.  I couldn't believe how easy real cranberry sauce is to make.  I was even feeling confident enough to add raisins to the mix.  It was a little sweet but good.  Making the rolls was more of a challenge.  I have fond memories of my bread maker.  The recipe detailed making shapes out of the dough so I gave those a try too.  In for a pound as they say.  Once done and cooled, I wrapped them and froze them.  I guess the fire blanket wasn't needed this time.

The confidence of my successes carried me through to Thanksgiving morning.  First, I had to put on my glasses to make sure the snow falling wasn't just my sleepy eyes.  It wasn't much and the temp kept it from laying.  I don't what type of omen this was but I didn't have time to think about it.  Bring on the bird!

Facing off against the turkey breast, I was prepared for a fight.  Rosemary, garlic, butter and paprika were to go between the skin and the meat.  The skin had to be pulled away to make that happen.  A very odd experience but I got the hang of it.  My mistake was not drying the bird.  Trying to apply a butter mix to a wet bird didn't fly.  (no wings)  My instructions were for slow roasting.  This means it cooks at 500 degrees for 30 mins and then 250 for about 2 hours.  It browns nicely and all the juices stay inside.

The mashed potatoes were easy as well.  I made a horseradish and parsley butter to go with it.  The butter tasted good on everything.  Now I own a ricer.  Yes, I had to look it up on the net.  I also checked out vids on chopping parsley and rosemary.  Laugh all you want but this geek knows his limitations.

I was so happy it all worked.  My folks showed up and we had a great time together.  I cancelled the reservation at the 'backup plan' and we stuffed ourselves silly.  My reward was a Victory Monkey on the Moon - half Golden Monkey and half Moonglow.  I sure am thankful.  -wallow-

Let's Dig A Little Deeper

"In another time and place he would have been called prophet."

The quote above is on Sam Kinison's gravesite.  He was 38 and recently remarried when he was killed by a drunk driver.  He had finally kicked the drugs and alcohol himself.  Sam would have found immense humor in all this.

I was in college when my sister gave me a copy of Kinison's stand up.  Who knew the effect it would have on me.  It was my first exposure to shock comedy.  No topic was off limits.  Just when you thought it was done, he would "dig a little deeper" to find that next level down.  I'd find myself laughing at homosexual necrophilia.  "Even after you're dead they keep fcuking you in the ass."

I was going through some crap at the time and somehow listening to Sam made it better.  I didn't feel alone.  Someone else had experienced hurt, was able to laugh about it and make other people laugh as well.  Little did I know what was in store for me in life.  Sam's voice has always been there making me smile.  He screams right along with me.  I don't know if I ever thanked my sister for that tape - so if you are reading this, THANKS!

Now you know what helped form my cynical side and why I can take things too far.  I had a good teacher.

Here's one of Sam's songs.  I've used it a few times in my life.  It's dedicated to one of his old girlfriends.  I remember giving a copy to a girl I broke up with in college after I found she cheated on me.

You lying whore

you used me

you never loved me

I hope you slide under a gas truck

and taste your own blood

die! die! die!

I want my records back!

Sam, I miss you.

Et Tu, Honda?

Another commercial caught my eye.  Actually it caught my ear because I was in another room at the time.

Honda is the latest to commit sacrilege with their use of  Judas Priest to sell a minivan. (see similar previous post)  They purchased the rights to "The Hellion" to promote their yuppie minivan.  Yes it did the job of capturing my attention and then my ire.  Damn you Honda!  [gnashing of teeth]

For those who do not know the wonder of Priest, mainly Crabby, they were part of my teenage rebellion.  You cannot mention Heavymetal without saying their name.  We're talking long hair, leather, dual guitar solos, explosions and motorcycles.  Now take a look at this crap....

This putz wouldn't know metal if he had braces with attached headgear, matching leg supports and pins holding his spine together.  The Marshall stack and flames don't do much to appease the Metal Gods either.  It's a minivan dude!  You will still be a putz driving it.

I can understand why they didn't use something more appropriate like "Turbo Lover".  The poor thing doesn't have turbo.  But why not "Free Wheel Burning"?  Ok, again it's a minivan so you are not likely to be blown away by driving it.

So Hellion was the choice but wait... it's an instrumental intro to "Electric Eye".  That song is about an evil satellite force spying on everyone to make sure we do the right thing. Did you notice the minivan has a GPS?  And cameras?  I see where this is going.  You should do the right thing and buy one or else.

Yes you were a rebel but now it's time to play nice... OR ELSE!

All Hail Honda!

"I'm made of metal, my circuits gleam.  I am perpetual I keep the country clean."

Halloween 2010

My evil eye pumpkin did not make it to Halloween.  The warm weather brought on decay.  Unfortunately it didn't make the eye look more evil, just droopy.  Thanks to Crabby, I had more to choose from.

It was time to slice up a couple more squash.  I like to cut the bottoms out instead of the top.  I find it easier to clean them and get to the candle if necessary.  I get my patterns online.

You can see in the top picture I don't use candles much any more.  I put a couple glow sticks in to make an  eerie, green glow.  I did them that day so there was no time to do anything fancy.  Evil grinning faces are great for this holiday.

I added a few other decorations and thought I was ready.  Crabby came over to help out because she doesn't get many kids in her neighborhood these days.  Last year, about 30 showed up so I prepared for that many and had extra candy.  Thank the Great Pumpkin I had extra because 52 kids showed up at my door!  I know I don't have that many breeders in my hood so these must have been bused in.  This beast got to do some scaring (not scarring) when he heard one little girl walking up to the door saying "it's ok, nothing is jumping out."  Who can resist that?  She screamed when I jumped out but didn't run away.  The smell of candy kept her feet planted.  It was a good night.

Oak Tree's Demise

While I have many oak trees on my property, the oldest one in the front was my favorite. The tree grew straight and tall with a solid base. It was probably older than the house.

Last year I noticed half the tree top was dead. I get more than my share of lightening strikes here so I thought that could be the cause. I've lost at least two trees to electric discharge. By the end of the year, the rest of the tree had died. I was quite sad at the loss.

I tried getting my regular guy to come out to take down this majestic beauty. For reasons unknown, he never scheduled with me. I found a local guy who offered a good price. He ran screaming after climbing the mighty oak. His concerns were around not being able to take down the large branches without dropping them on the road or power lines. In the months and weeks all this took place, I had to reassure the neighbors of the trees strength even in death.
When the wind storm hit earlier this year, they all had trees fall. My oak stood proud and tall. It didn't even lose a branch. The benefit to me was finding out who everyone else used to cut up their downed trees.

The third tree company actually showed up and took the job. They were professional and took care of my tree. I happened to be home when the crane showed up. Enjoy the pictures but know my tree is not forgotten.

The neighbors weren't even home to be happy about the tree being taken down.  They probably wouldn't have been happy anyway because the crane closed off the road.

See how much of the tree is above the tie off point?  That part swung down and almost took out the guy up there cutting.

Now that's how it's down.  And gently laid on the ground for pick up.

 No need to cut it up further, they can do that elsewhere.

Am I the only one with chainsaw envy?  Ladies, I believe he's single.